This has been a long time coming. Judy has been gone awhile now and the slow cobbling together of this tribute keeps resting in my "To Do" files. No longer. The best way to prod myself and to get this done is to go public with what has been done...then maybe, finally, a proper presentation will result. Not sure what shape/form it will finally become, but be assured, I will do my best to bring a bit of her out for you to visit with. She is a wonderful person to know. Hopefully my faulty/aging memories do her justice.
Some Memories of Judy
1970-1971
I can still smell the fresh spring air, gently splashing my face, on a morning that seems lost to another life left behind. The sun was warm and full at my back as the thread bare old shoes helped a very uncertain young fellow trod up from the foot of Beverly Street along the slow easy slope above Queen Street West in Toronto, Ontario. For some reason, the west side of the street seemed friendlier...the same side that Judy's place would be on...a hopeful haven in a strange new city.
It wasn't a long walk...just a block...and shortly I found myself steeled for the hopefully proper knock on the door. It was opened by someone who was to be many things to me in the future. A friend, a mother figure, a commrade-in-arms, a party buddy....someone with whom it was easy to pick up where we had left off after long periods of separation.
By the time I had first met with Judy she was famous and well-known in many different circles. All of this was unknown to me at the time. What this simple fellow knew, who counted science fiction as only a small percentage of his overall reading, was that she wrote SF. Plus, that the main focus at the time was her political involvement with the anti-war/anti-draft movement...this, and the prospect of earning a little cash to live on and helping other folks deal with the US draft, drew me to her via the recommondations of some new aquaintances.
Those where the hot and heavy days of "Red, White, and Black". I ended up helping produce the newsletter with Ted Steiner and other folks lost to memory. Shades of many meetings, interviews, crisis after crisis, draft counciling, fund raising, increasing public awareness, helping kids not much younger than myself accept the problems and responsibilities of coming to Canada, drinking tons of coffee, and smoking too many cigarettes...all produced a cloustered world that finally resulted in sending me reeling into the world of science fiction and bookselling. It seemed like a logical progression at the time.
It was after this turbulent time comprehension finally dawned that the protective shadow hovering over my life belonged to the Queen Mother of Modern Science Fiction.
She smiled.
I can still hear her laugh.
Now, unless you had met Judy, it is hard to describe her presence. It was always sure and most times quietly forceful, with a kindness not far behind which let one know that, serious as she could be, there was a humourous thought flickering...tempered with a disciplined observing talent that usually resulted in some mighty fine and blunt comment. I won't pretend to have known her as well as her family or many other friends. All I know is that it was very comfortable being with her, working with her, and being confused by her.
Yep. Could she ever confuse you. Sometimes, logical thought (which we all pride ourselves as being masters of in our 20's and 30's) just damned well escaped me in her presence...but usually a bit of prodding helped in figuring it out. Judy was most always patient with us slower folks. Mostly. :-)
*That is all.....as of March 15th, 1998*
A warm memory just came back. The place was noisy. Lots of cigarette smoke in the air (back when it was assumed not *as* dangerous), clanking dishes and cutlery, endless background chatter. But, over all, the wonderful smell of a thousand different foods being prepared, served, eaten. For those who remember, this special place was the old Shopsy's on Spadina Avenue in Toronto.
It was here that Judy and I had a fine time packing away some good old dogs (yes, with kraut, you ninny's) and whatever. I don't remember what we talked about, but there is still the image of her sitting across the other side of the table with that ever present semi-smile of knowing something that always seemed to escape me. What it was, she never let on.
Judy rarely wasted time on idle chit-chat when there was a problem to solve or discuss. There were usually pointed questions that cut thru the "crap". Never a possibility of a feint by oneself if you didn't have your facts on hand. Which left me in the "I'll have to get on that" mode more often then not. Ocassionally she would get a bit frustrated with us slower folks. But she never berated anyone that I'm aware of...except maybe inept political dunces. At worst she would turn her attention without comment elsewhere or to someone who did have the information/ideas she was after. One came to understand "being left out in the cold" quickly...which was okay...that was Judy, and you still knew she liked you even if you failed or didn't kick over the mental pistons quick enough.
Which brings to mind her intense desires and support of "the good of all mankind" philosophy she not only harboured privately, but was ready to explain or promote publically. Her willingness to jump into the fray to combat local, provincial, and federal government silliness is well known to many. She even had great fun "fighting the good fight"...gad, what did she know that no one else knew??...because that semi-smile was ever present or at least not hidding far beneath a frown or serious look.
The lingering thoughts about Shopsy's are fading...just like the smells and sounds after leaving the establishment behind, the food settling in for a good case of heartburn.
*That is all.....as of June 24th, 1998*
Still to come........
The Bakka Years
The Apartment
The Parting of the Ways
It is hoped that as the days go by, more memories of association with Judy all those years ago will see their way to this virtual diary. Please drop by occasionally and have a few shared moments with my humble memories of someone who will be greatly missed by many.
THE FIRST APPEARENCE OF JUDY'S WORK
Reprinted in BAKKA MAGAZINE ISSUE #6, FALL 1977
The introduction to this reprint read:
"The year 1939 seems so far away to many of us sitting here in the fall of 1977.
But for others it was but a few summers ago. We are very fortunate to have a guide who can take us back for a short peak into the beginnings of her career and to that fabled year of 1939
"Judith Grossman was in her teens when the following excerpt appeared in a student creative writing magazine called TOWER. Published by the students of Morris High School in New York City, it was a handsome prduction that showcased their writing and artistic talents.
"We are privilaged indeed to have a small look into the earliest part of the career of one Judith Merril, alias Judith Grossman. Enjoy!"
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